We developed this simply Family Map Survey in the year 2000 for our work with parents of young families. The questions in this Family Map Survey can help you to assess the quality of relational connecting and structure (boundaries) in your family of origin. If you have children you can also use the Family Map Survey to describe your own family system.
If you’re married it’s helpful to have your spouse take the surveys and then to compare them, as you may have grown up in very different family systems. We tend to bring into our marriage and parenting the characteristics of the family system we grew up in and this can be a source of conflict between spouses/parents.
Use this scale to describe your family origin during your childhood. Then re-take the survey, using the scale to describe your family with your own children:
1 2 3 4 5
Almost Never Once in a While Sometimes Frequently Almost Always
___ 1. We asked for and gave help to one another in our family.
___ 2. When solving problems, the parents took charge without input from the children.
___ 3. We approved of each other’s friends.
___ 4. The children had no say in their discipline.
___ 5. We liked for just our immediate family to do things together.
___ 6. The same person(s) acted as leaders in our family in all situations.
___ 7. I felt closer to my family members than to people outside my family.
___ 8. Our family’s way of handling tasks was unchanging.
___ 9. I liked to spend free time with my family members
___ 10. The parents punished misbehaving children without discussing things.
___ 11. I felt very close to my family members.
___ 12. The parents made all the decisions in our family.
___ 13. When our family got together for activities, I liked for everybody to be present.
___ 14. It was important for rules to stay the same in our family.
___ 15. We could easily think of things for our family to do together.
___ 16. It was hard for us to shift household responsibilities from person to person.
___ 17. We consulted with family members on family related decisions.
___ 18. In any situation it was easy identify the leader(s) in our family.
___ 19. Family togetherness was very important to us.
___ 20. Each family member had particular household chores and they didn’t change.
How to Score Your Family Map Survey
There are two scales on this Family Map Survey: a Relationship (Bonding) Scale and a Structure (Boundaries) Scale, the two fundamental dimensions in any family or group system. The Relationship Scale looks at levels of closeness, emotional involvement, and togetherness — is the family — are people connected or more separate? The Structure Scale looks at how the family is organized in terms of rules and discipline — is it parent-controlled or more democratic?
To score your survey simply count one point for each question in its scale:
______ Relationship Scale Score (10 odd numbered items)
______ Structure Scale Score (10 even numbered items)
How to Interpret Your Family Map Survey
High scores on the Relationship Scale tend toward the “Enmeshed” category. Low scales tend toward “Neglectful.” Near the middle is optimum as “Independent” and “Intimate” are both healthy values to hold in tension in relationships.
High scores on the Structure Scale tend toward being “Permissive” and low scored tend toward “Authoritarian.” Near the middle is optimum as “Flexible” and “Firm” are both healthy values to hold in the structure of a family.
The tables below explain different aspects of each scale:
Family Map: Relationship (Bonding) Scale
| Parenting Style: | Neglectful | Independent | Intimate | Enmeshed |
| Bonding: | Very separate; Little closeness | Separate; Limited closeness | Close; Some separateness | Extreme closeness; Little separateness |
| Family loyalty: | Lacks loyalty | Some loyalty | Loyalty expected | Loyalty demanded |
| Emotional expression: | Infrequent | Some response | Preferred | Continual and Intense |
| Decision-making | Individual | Joint possible | Joint preferred | Subject to group |
| Friends & Activities | Separate | Some shared | Most shared | Must be shared |
Family Map: Structure (Boundaries) Scale
| Parenting Style: | Permissive | Flexible | Firm | Authoritarian |
| Leadership: | Children in control | Democratic | Some democracy | Parental control |
| Rules: | Inconsistent; Frequent changes | Flexibly enforced; Some changes | Firmly enforced; Few changes | Strictly enforced; Unchanging |
| Discipline/ Consequences: | Very lenient | Negotiated | Predictable | Rigid |
| Roles: | Unclear; shifting Reversals | Fluid changes; Shared | Stable; may be shared | Strictly defined; Separate |
| Negotiation/ Decisions: | Impulsive; Endless negotiating | Discussed and agreed upon | Made by parents | Imposed by parents |
Some items in the Family Map Survey are modified from FACES III developed in 1985 by David H. Olson, Joyce Portner, and Yoav Lavee, Family Social Science, Univ. of Minnesota.